04 August 2019

The year is 2025

A federal ban on firearms has been implemented in the United States. In protest of gun prohibition, various bars and restaurants across the country have secret shooting ranges in their basements, called shooteasies.

A prolific author has written a novel about a wealthy New Yorker named Jay Epstein who throws wild sex parties in his lavish mansion. The book is told from the perspective of Nick Clintoway, who attends these parties with his girlfriend, a golfer named JorDon Fake(news)er. Nick soon learns that Jay Epstein throws his sex parties in the hope of grabbing the attention of Seedling Buchanan, a 13-year-old girl with whom he is obsessed. Throughout the book, a pair of eye-shaped surveillance cameras watches over the characters. The cameras represent the all-seeing eye of the American government.

Two years later, the novel, entitled "The Grating Epstein" will be adapted into a major motion picture, starring Tobey Maguire as Nick Clintoway and Leo DiCaprio as Jay Epstein. The film will be directed by Woody Allen and produced by The Weinstein Company. It will stir great controversy, especially among the online flapper community.

Such flappers can frequently be seen smoking with long, slim vape holders.

Men, meanwhile, tend to don waistcoats and, to the dismay of the aforementioned women, tilted fedoras. M'flapper.

In the coming years and beyond, the decade will be colloquially referred to as "The Boring Twenties."

And, of course, in the 2030s we'll all be jumping out the windows of high-rise office buildings due to the collapse of basically everything.